Mustard Seeding

So for those of you who didn't know, I was whisked away for the holiday season to America, answering an unformed and unspoken prayer of my heart. The invitation and ticket were an unexpected surprise. It has been a glorious season. Festival of Lights in James Island, special times with friends and family, cinnamon and eggnog and Christmas parties. Christmas shopping, scarves, boots and Christmas music. All of my favorite things. I even discovered Hallmark Christmas movies (late to the party) and I could watch those 24-7.  But the actual day of Christmas, as well as Christmas Eve (as we all know that's just Christmas Part 1) were superbly sad. I won't go into all the reasons why, as there were quite a few and quite good reasons to be be sad. But they definitely felt- magnified- because of the date on the calendar. And it got me thinking about what everyone KNOWS but seems to either forget or ignore-- Christmas is also HARD. And Christmas is sad. I was going to origi...

Catalyst : a person or thing that precipitates an event. Chemical reactions with gold as a catalyst: "Gold has unexpected properties: It can act as a  catalyst  and transform carbon monoxide (CO) to carbon dioxide (CO2) when it comes in the form of tiny pieces, called nano-particles. Gold suddenly enhances desired chemical reactions as a  catalyst  for example in the removal of odors and toxins or to clean automotive exhaust gases.” Yeah, we’re pretty proud of the cool name of our company. I love when meanings go deeper than you even originally planned.  Our business. Our #1 reason for moving ourselves to Tanzania.  We are following this vision and path for the PRIMARY reason, because we firmly believe that God spoke this to us very clearly, and confirmed it many times over and in many different ways. It’s a fully fleshed out vision, with steps and levels and long term plans. I’m so grateful my time in YWAM has taught me to pray a...

"The Nightmare" by Henry Fuseli  One of the reasons I was happy to start this blog was to have a space to be personal, open and vulnerable. A good outlet while I don’t have many sounding boards around me physically. But things have not been great recently so I haven't been posting because I didn't want to complain, or wallow in self pity, or be a downer. Also, there are people who take offense to it, or think I'm being hard on Africa/Tanzania and her culture. (Which is NOT my intention!) So for those reasons among others, I've remained a bit silent. But I had this interesting congealment of thought, that of course happened in that magical time when you're lying in bed, late and night and not sleeping. A few weeks ago I was in my usual sleepless state, staring at the curtains. I have one of those brains that likes to break things down to their skeletal state to understand them better (I’m an outline lover!) and I came to the realization that I ...

This story begins with unfortunate circumstances on an otherwise auspicious day. Last Friday we had our first ever party at our house for our friend Pilli’s birthday! I made my yumcious spaghetti (simmered for hours), someone brought a huge cake, and we realized that our house really is wonderful for entertaining (much more so when we finally get a dining table- O Lord send us a dining table). It went late into the evening, and then Ema took everyone home after so we were up very late. As we were finally shutting up the house in the wee hours— suddenly Ema shouted in like the scariest voice I’ve ever heard (in Swahili so I dunno what he said), several octaves deeper than his normal voice. My heart was in my throat and he let me know that he saw a face outside our window sneaking around, as he unlocked the front door to run out and confront him. I looked and saw the intruder much too easily climbing back out of our wall/gate that has sharp spikes all around the top to keep such p...

I wanted to name this blog "Everything is Awful and Nothing Ever Goes Right." But, O reader, I don't want to depress y'all so I sacked that. (Do I want some cheese with that whine? Yes I do.) So, I recognize my last blog was uplifting and shining with new hope and justified faith. I wish every blog could be like that. But this here blog is for my truth bombs. It's not purely a "missionary blog"--- full of spiritual amazingness, but it's also space I've created to be real. The last week or so I've been getting frustrated as there have been too many days full of disappointments piling up. I wanted to rant/vent. But if all I'm doing is complaining out into the internet air, what good is that?  So instead of a pure rant, here is my "pros and cons" list (à la The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon). *This is meant to be read in the voice of Jimmy Fallon-- not in the voice of me feeling grumpy on a hot afternoon. Pros...

So as many of you know Ema and I have been officially “homeless” for basically a year. We left our beautiful townhouse in Chiang Mai at the end of August last year- 2016 and it’s August again. We’ve been bed surfin’ ever since. (Shoutout to our amazing friends the Damerons, a once in a lifetime 2 months with the used-to-be single Mandy, and “our room” in my Mom’s house. Not to mention our most recently vacated domicile of the “Green Palm Hotel” in Mwanza) As a missionary, I suppose this isn’t the most outrageous thing ever. We learn to flex and be happy in many a room that’s not ours. But still. A year y’all. A year.   The last month at the Green Palm Hotel has been very emotional for me. Adjusting to life in Africa, the sadness of leaving everyone and everything behind, and the daily hope and disappointment cycle of “are we moving today?”.   When I was preparing to move to Mwanza, Ema was scouring the city looking for that perfect house. The right price, but comfo...

MWANZA! As I'm starting to get more settled here, life is getting easier and more enjoyable. In spite of still living in our little hotel room! I mean, how could I start getting impatient now- We've been without a place of our own since we left Thailand last August. That's getting close to a year of not having our own place! We've waited this long, we can wait longer. Plus the hotel has most things we need. Cold air conditioning, good electricity, occasionally hot water in the shower, a restaurant. So I want to tell you a little bit about my new city. First of all, it's in the north part of Tanzania, along the coast of the gigantic Lake Victoria. (And you can see-- very close to the "endless plains" of the Serengeti Wildlife Reserve.) This means that the views of the lake are so beautiful! And almost from everywhere in the city! There's something about this lake that is so beautiful. I have yet to really capture it in photos, it...